MU’s Gripes
By: MU: senior_wills@yahoo.com

Gripe 1 – Reality TV

During the past few years, the people of the United States of America have been taken in by an idea that seems to be the most unique of phenomena…Reality Television. It is an idea that, in its greatest conception, seemed like it would prove to be the revolution that American television audiences have been looking for. Indeed, the very idea of reality TV is intriguing. In its most basic form, reality TV is supposed to be nothing more than a documentary of the real life of a person, or group of people. Through this observation, we were supposed to be able to discern some kind of plot, as well as take a closer look at our lives. Well, ladies and gentleman, I’m afraid to tell you that reality TV has not lived up to the expectations that were so set forth…and as such, is simply, a load of bull.

I hate reality TV. I’m not going to lie to you. I think that it is the worst waste of film, or in the case of live broadcast, satellite bandwidth that was ever conceived. Now here’s why.

Let’s start with the history of reality TV. I mentioned before that reality TV likely came from a film standard, the documentary. Most of the time, documentaries are made with an audience in mind, or to answer a specific question. Reality TV came from this to try and change up the formula, to make it unpredictable. Enter the first reality television show, The Real World.

The Real World was innovative for its time. It took us into the lives of 10 people “forced” to live together, the idea being that they would have to be “real” with each other. All of the people on these shows came from different backgrounds, from different places around the country. They key thing here is that MTV, the happy, poppy, conglomerate corporation that it is, held auditions for the program. Yes, they actually hand picked all of the people that were to live together. These people were put in the house together to fit whatever typecast the show’s producers wanted. Tell me, is that how you pick who you’re going live with? Do you audition for a typecast? How is that real?

Once The Real World had four or five seasons of moderate success under it’s belt, and MTV had spawned two other reality TV incarnations (Road Rules, and Real World vs. Road Rules), it was about time for somebody else to pick up the formula. CBS, with its declining ratings, decided that they needed something different for their network. They picked up a show that we all remember…Survivor.

Survivor was the first of a new breed of reality television programs; the game show and reality television show combo. It would not be the last. Survivor got the ratings that CBS wanted, and had America eating out of the palm of its hand. The mix of challenges, and sticking people out in the wilderness in some kind of conceived danger (because, due to liability reasons, the people on these programs weren’t in any real danger at all), people competed in games (called “Challenges”) that tested their mettle. At the end of every episode, there was a “council” held by the contestants to vote somebody off of the island. The prize for being the last person on the island…a large some of money (I do not recall the sum). The people who got voted off would end up going home and being “nobodies.”

This backfired, as most of the people who ended up getting voted off of the island ended up becoming the real celebrities. Most of them got their fifteen minutes of fame, and then some. In addition, most of them got plenty of money…some even more than they would have received upon winning the show. Once again, this started a new trend of people on reality TV shows becoming overnight celebrities. I would venture to say that enough of the people that were on these shows were trying to achieve this status, that any small semblance of reality that was left in the reality television genre is now gone. Why, people probably just act on camera now! Well, back to history…

Survivor got all of the television networks attention…it had consistently beat them out in ratings. The solution – create reality TV shows of their own. This takes us to our current crop of shows today. Such shows include:

• Dog Eat Dog and FearFactor – NBC’s entry into the reality show foray, these two shows mostly showcase the game show side of the reality TV craze. The shows are just about people completing the toughest mental, physical, and psychological challenges that the writers of the show can think of in order to win a sum of money. Most of these shows are really not grounded in reality…almost the entirety of male and female contestants are very physically fit, wear very little, and are insanely competitive. The shows essentially sell sex, culminating in the FearFactor women only episode.

• Meet My Folks – another NBC show in which three contestants of the male or female gender compete for the affection of a single male or female “prize”. The catch is the parents of the “prize” choose who wins. Another cheap sex sell, as most of the competition involves sexual exhibition and deception.

• The Osbornes – probably the most real of the reality TV bunch, this MTV show chronicles of the life of Ozzy Osborne and his family. I actually like this one because they do not even pretend to be a normal family, they just act stupid – which I think is how many of us act when we’re not in the presence of all but our closest friends and family.

• The Anna Nicole Show – see the Osbornes, but without the funny. She definitely doesn’t act natural in front of the camera…then again maybe she does… (Herk!)

• Sorority Life and Fraternity Life – two MTV shows that chronicle the life of new pledges to the college Greek establishments. Tell me, do you think that they don’t exaggerate things in front of the camera when they’re drunk? Nahh….

• The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Joe Millionaire – these three shows feature a brood of people competing for the hand of a single potential mate. The catch, the single person eliminates candidates of copulation until only one remains. These shows seem to stress the idea of marriage proposal at the end of them. One show, Joe Millionaire, involved the “prize” being a blue collar worker and lying about his status…saying that he was a millionaire. Some of the contestants actually held it against him. He was chosen to play a part…it’s not his fault. And besides, he’s a millionaire now, thanks in part to the publicity the show received. Sheesh!

Those were just a few of the examples that I know of. And still, after all the loss of intelligence, reality TV continues. More shows are planned for next season, with even less reality. Whatever happened to completely fictional television, with paper thin plot, cleverly hiding satirical material? Or maybe, with tons of well written plot, or maybe even comic material? Has America lost its creativity? Or have all of the good writers just given up and went to stake their claim in independent film or the internet? (My money’s on this one).

Do yourself a favor, and turn off the gawdam reality TV show now! Do it for your mind, or the minds of the ones you love.

If you want to make comments or give MU ideas to rant on, send them to senior_wills@yahoo.com. Make sure to tie your shoes, and don’t take any wooden nickels.