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The Chronicles of Faust
By: Nez

Part 11

Author’s Note: Sorry about the long time between updates. As the author of this humble chronicle, I’d like to place the blame entirely on MU, for being a pile. As for that, hopefully you guys haven’t forgotten the story because this part starts in the middle of something. Happy reading… Blondes… Mmm…

(Click here to skip to the chapter beginning)

The Dead Saiyan Saga

 Upon exiting the airplane, once the seatbelt sign was turned off, Faust followed the rest of the people on the plane (also bound for the Klown House) and was eventually shown into a richly appointed foyer. Faust was the last person to be seen, so he spent the time reading the magazines that were on the tables and tearing out particularly funny pictures (just to be obnoxious).

 Eventually a rather large red skinned, white haired man (Klown?) opened a door and called Faust's name. When Faust walked up to him, the attendant/butler/Klown being frowned and commented upon Faust's inappropriate common clothing. Faust replied that his tux was at the cleaners, to which the Klown snorted and ushered Faust into the next room.

 *(This is something of a factual error. The red skinned guy was actually Kibito, which is impossible since we’d forgotten that he had fused with the Supreme Kai)

 The cavernous room was centrally dominated by a large, long, hardwood table. Set on one end of the table was a decent amount of foot (for a Saiyan), on the other end, several other figures sat around a large bowl of rice.

 Ignoring the food obviously meant for him, Faust strode to the other end of the table, picked up the large bowl of rice and told them that they could start the performance. He said that he loved the Klowns that lighted themselves on fire and ran around screaming. They could also blow themselves up if they wanted, that could be funny if they managed to do it right.

 This mortified them to utterly no end. Taking this as a good start, Faust proceeded to begin his rant into the flaws of the dead world and it's operating procedures. Several minutes and several decibels later, one of the Klowns raised his hand and power flicked Faust into the opposing wall.

 Not knowing or caring whom he was up against and having worked himself up into a frenzy with the past few minutes of ranting, Faust went Super Saiyan and in the process splattered the food all over the Klowns. After powering up, Faust flew, fist first, toward the red-haired Klown that dared to strike him. The Butler interposed at the last second and received the full force of Faust's blow. Not prepared for the ferocity of Faust's attack, the Butler went flying, knocking several of the Klowns aside.

 *(We don’t actually know that Kai’s name, we just saw him briefly in a fan-made DBZ music video.)

 Faust pursued the insolent fool. He would be taught to not interfere in the affairs of his betters. Faust then proceeded to pound the upstart into the ground, several times before turning the bloke into a crisp with a death ball. After a few seconds of gloating, Faust sensed a power coming up behind him, though too late to respond, and was sent hurtling into the ground as well.

 Seeing that it was the red haired Klown that struck him from behind, Faust prepared to come shooting back out of his crater and lace into the fool. As he gathered his energy to fly out, one of the other Klowns called for a truce and asked that they talk about the situation as reasonable individuals. Faust reluctantly agreed, though doubting their capacity for reason.

 When they sat down, battered, bruised and covered with splattered food, they started out with an apology regarding Faust's problems in the dead world. After a grudging acceptance on Faust's part, they moved on to talk about Earth. Faust started to seriously pay attention, since last he knew his wife was on that planet and he happened to hate it with a passion at this point in time.

 They proceeded to point his mind to a spot in the universe that was occupied by a being of extraordinary power, a Saiyan named Brolly. The power was immense, but Faust wasn't particularly concerned about that in specific. He was dead, what could it do? Kill him again? To address this power, the Klowns offered to have Faust sent back to Earth for two weeks to deal with matters there.

 Faust rebuffed them, saying that he would only need five minutes to save all that he cared about on that God-forsaken rock. Somewhat taken aback, the Klowns said that he could spend the night and consider what they had to say. Not particularly caring, he agreed and was shown up to his room.

 *(This wasn’t our GMs most shining moment. I decided to drive a Mack truck through this hole he left open.)

 For all of the night and most of the next morning Faust had to listen to Jerani's mindless screams as she ran around and babbled about the incredible energy source and having to save her children. Once during the night, Faust was disturbed by some small old woman dressed in black that sat upon a glass ball. She pestered him about going back to Earth and was showing him pictures of his wife (through the ball) until he accidentally tripped and knocked it out from under her.

 *(That old woman would be Urani-baba)

 He let her scramble around for a few seconds before placing her back on top of the ball and firmly telling her to leave him alone. Faust didn't like having to rough up old women, but he refused to be forced into doing something he didn't want to do. When the time came to send people to Earth, Faust showed up, looking rather bored and trying to ignore Jerani, who was there as well, practically bouncing off the walls with urgency.

 *(It seems that Jerani is still having problems getting her priorities in order. Get used to it, she can’t make up her mind for a long time to come, either.)

 After being released back to the lookout on Earth, Faust, without giving anyone a second glance, booked it toward the beach house and his wife. When he got back there, she practically jumped on him with excitement. Putting his feelings to the back of his mind, he politely disentangled her and told her to come with him. They were going back to the cruiser.

 On the shuttle ride up to orbit, Carolyn tried to get Faust to "warm up" a bit, but he ignored her advances (with extreme difficulty and regret) and concentrated on piloting the ship. She seemed somewhat put off by his detachment, but he preferred her to be a bit flustered than a bit dead.

 When they got to the cruiser, he went directly to the bridge with Carolyn following in his wake. Faust told the commanding officer that his orders were to go directly home and to not stop for anything until they got there. Faust then looked to his wife and told her that this applied to her as well. He also told her of his intentions to remain on Earth and eventually assist in the inevitable showdown with Brolly. Carolyn started to object, but Faust would have none of it. He then returned to the pod-bay where he gave Carolyn a hug and kiss goodbye and shot off back to Earth.

 *(This was me expressing my distaste at how the GM had managed to bungle the whole dead world thing)

 Upon landing (near the beach house) Faust decided that he should be nice and tell everyone else, in case Jerani hadn't. Faust figured that it would be easiest if he went to the lookout, since people always seemed to be stopping by there.

 Only Dende, Mr. Po-Po and Laucon were at the lookout, but they already knew of the impending threat. Everyone else was off training. His obligation discharged, Faust went back to the beach house and got ready to kick it for a few weeks before going back to hell (it sure ain't heaven, that's for sure).

 Pulling out a lawn chair and a case of high proof vodka, Faust spent the rest of the day and a bit of the night getting completely trashed and then passing out. Faust awoke the next morning to a pounding headache and a pounding Ziganto, pounding on Faust to be exact. Faust off-handedly swatted Ziganto away (fifty feet) and limped into the house to get a few gallons of water and some decent rest.

 *(Ziganto may be tough and resourceful, but he’s still nothing compared to the power of a Saiyan. This was also me berating the GM as well, since Ziganto is one of his favorite NPCs.)

 Several hours later Faust awoke, not quite as hung over, and walked out to the living room to see what other problems awaited him. Only one it would seem. Ziganto was sitting on the couch, ice pressed to his head and to his right foot. After Faust sat down, Ziganto began to talk about Earth's problem. Later on in the conversation Ziganto told Faust that Carolyn had decided to return to Earth, contrary to his orders, and bring the better part of the Saiyan Army with her to help. She had found a wormhole near by Earth that came out relatively near New Vegeta.

 Almost irritated, Faust got himself ready for the day. He could already sense a battle happening in the northern regions of the planet. The battle, though it was of immense proportions, concerned him very little. Now he had to worry about his people that were coming back to help. Faust checked his appearance in the mirror one last time before he went. His eyes weren't really blood-shot anymore and his halo was gone. Gone? Oh god…someone had wished him back without his knowledge. Now he was irritated. The mirror bothered him. Smash went the mirror.

 *(A bit of Brolly-talk there. We commonly likened Brolly to the Hulk. Big, powerful and full of dumb.)

 Faust flew to the lookout and spent the next several hours monitoring the course of the battle with his Ki sense ability. People came and went during the course of the battle, coming in battered and beaten to get healed and sent out again only to return in the same condition. Eventually several hours passed and Faust sensed the approach of his Saiyans, powered up and ready for battle.

 When they landed, Carolyn presented herself as commanding officer. In a rather detached manner, Faust told them of the somewhat elementary plan he had come up with. Using Jerani as bait (she's already dead, what can we do to her?) she would lure Brolly over a prepared crater hole in which everyone would be hiding. On the signal everyone would begin charging and would fire as one when the final signal was called out. Faust thought his plan was almost too simple to work, but it was better than nothing.

 The plan went without a hitch; Brolly batted Jerani all the way over to where the ambush had been prepared. At the last moment, Jerani threw all of her remaining power at Brolly to confuse him, if nothing else, leaving him distracted for a brief instant in which the combined might of several hundred Saiyans blasted Brolly and consequently Jerani as well, into deep space, the inertia ensuring that Brolly wouldn't be back for a good long time.

 Following the coordinated ejection of Brolly (and Jerani) into the deep reaches of space, Faust discreetly left the milling group of soldiers and began to make his way back to the beach house. Before he could leave the scene completely, he was stopped by Laucon, who said that Faust should come to the lookout the next morning on account of there was a surprise waiting for him. Faust, entirely tired of surprises, wearily agreed to go to the lookout in order to get Laucon out of his hair.

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